Thursday, April 17, 2008

Confrontation

Sorry for taking so long to post!!!!!

I love this picture because it is so disturbing. I stumbled across an article on confrontation that I will share with you. In the past I have heard people say to me "Gerry, you love confrontation." The fact is I don't, but I am not afraid of it. The reality is that no one really likes confrontation, and if you really like it, you’re a bully more than a person. But the truth is, we do have to confront. So, here are 10 signs it’s time to confront the people you love, care about, work with, or are responsible for.

1. It’s time to confront when things aren’t working out even after you’ve given them sufficient time to do so.

2. When you’re avoiding each other.

3. When your silence is more about fear than the truth.

4. When allowing the contact to go on is hurting the other person.

5. When the contact is hurting other people.

6. When you see there is still time to redeem the relationship, the job, the person, or the potential future.

7. When you’re responsible for the health and well-being of the people involved in the situation. You have the power to do something, therefore you have the obligation.

8. When you’re able to separate the behavior from the person. You love the person always, even though you can’t support the behavior.

9. When your integrity and reputation as a friend, manager, leader, or business owner is on the line, it’s time to confront.

10. When you understand that sometimes love must be tough if it’s truly love. Love that is based on a lie is indulgence. Love that is based on truth and applied with mercy and grace is truly a gift from God.

Are there people in your life that it’s time to confront? Really good things can happen at the other end if done in the right way, at the right time, for the right reason, with the right tone, unlike the picture above...



7 comments:

Misty B said...

Do you think there is ever a time when you shouldn't confront? I meann if the situation exists where you have an issue but you are in crisis. Or is it possible that there is just so much that you need to just move on...

Karl G said...

I think sign number 3 is the main reason we do not confront more often. We are afraid of hurting someones feelings, or starting a fight, or losing the relationship(and with that whatever positive influence we may have).
Prov 28.23 "Open rebuke is better than love that is hidden."
How can we truly expect people to believe we love them when we allow them to hurt themselves and others and not intervene.

As for your question Misty Im not exactly sure what you are asking. By crisis do you mean your own life is in crisis or that the relationship has reached a crisis stage?

Karl G said...

Sorry I mixed up my scripture reference. Its Proverbs 27.5

kmawesome said...

I would have to agree with this and unfortunately say that i learned the lesson the hard way, one of the big break downs in communication in a past relationship was due to the fact that i would not confront but thought it was more loving to take the problem upon myself to do something about or just deal with.
in response to Misty, my personal opinion is that in times of crisis you are in survival mode,but i guess it would depend on the reason for the confrontation in the first place, and if it was possible to be put off untill a later time with little consequence.

DSW said...

Gerry - you, me and the UFC octagon.

I'll call your mom so she can be ringside when I whoop your confronted carrot top.

Confrontation and accountability are two ideas that need to be re-imagined. Confrontation is only as valuable as the trust its based on. I truly believe its the lap of face-to-face tactile relationships that has caused our retardation of confrontation. See myspace, facebook, blogosphere and text messaging.

We suck at friendships so we dont have the rocks nor the rights to confront each other when we're acting like schmucks - let alone judgmental, overly critical and egotistical Christians.

hugs and kisses,
DSW

SoulPastor said...

Bring it DSW!!!

Oh Wait, you are in Calgary...umm The Flames couldn't finish...how about you?

I like your response...btw...relationship is the key to any confrontation.

KarlG said...

Im more of a shoot em all and let God sort it out person myself. Which is probably why my phone never rings anymore *sigh*