Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Are there mistakes that you cannot recover from? Below is a post from another blog and I am interested in your thoughts…The author first defines that there is a difference between mistakes of competency and mistakes of character. Mistakes of competency is something that we all can recover from. It is like learning to ride a bike…you will fall, but eventually you will get it right. The authors then goes on to add that one of the greatest problems with mistakes of character is that the pain and aggravation of them usually lies on the surface of emotion or gets deflected over to another person or group, and never really sinks deep into the soul where ultimate change can take place. He goes one to push that idea a little further, and here are five mistakes that he feels that one cannot recover:

Adultery. Adultery is rampant in our culture. Ask people like Tiger Woods and the results displayed in his life. Ask politicians. Famous people just like ordinary people cannot escape the nuclear fallout that arises from adultery. Adultery is the ultimate betrayal. It bares naked the soul. It is narcissistic, wounded, and can’t be trusted. Adultery is expensive both in monetary terms and its relational fallout. Avoid it like you would the plague.

Pride. Pride is that inner drive that causes us to act against our own self-interest, even when everyone else can see it. Pride is lifting oneself up to a place which is not earned and cannot be sustained. Pride is so painful because it makes the bearer blind and deaf. It’s like walking toward a cliff. Everyone can see you’re near the end but you.

Resentment. You might say, “Yeah, resentment can be recovered from.” Yes, I would agree. But too many times it’s not. Resentment is bitterness that’s taken hold deep down in the soul and it poisons the well of everything you try to do. It blocks the free flow of life because unforgiveness cuts you off, not only from God, but from everyone else.

Laziness. Laziness can’t be recovered from because it wastes away the capital of life. It has no motivation or drive except that which comes from fear. And when you’re driven by fear, you’re being manipulated. Laziness discounts life as cheap, and people as something to be avoided.

Assumptions. Of all of these, assumptions are probably the most deadly. Let’s say that you are a middle-aged man and you eat like you are a teenager. You fail to exercise because you’re too busy and you don’t have time. You wake up at 42 and have a massive heart attack. Triple bypass surgery and a for sure shortened life is now yours because you, as so many others do, assumed that you’d live forever and that you wouldn’t have to take care of your body because you’ve always been able to abuse it.

Assumptions are also deadly in marriage: assuming she’ll always be home because she’s always been home, that she’ll take care of the kids, and that she’ll always think you are her hero. It leads to neglect which a lot of people do after you get distanced. Communication dries up and all of a sudden you wake up and you don’t care anymore. Assumptions in business, in life, and in relationships are all deadly and you need to avoid them at all costs.
What’s the antidote to all five of these? Gratitude, humility, and joy of work. Those simple things can get you up every day, remind you that life is a gift, that while you are not everything, you are something, and while you can’t do everything, you can do your thing.



novice said...

It really depends on what the author means by "recover".

King David recovered from adultery and Saul / Paul recovered from systematic murder to name only two examples.

Is the author saying that God can't help or use you if you have made mistakes in these areas? Or is there a more clear definition of "recovery" not quoted from the original post?

Misty B said...

I notice that God isn't mentioned anywhere in the post.

If I read this without God, I would say the author is totally correct. These are things we can't fix. But I have known people (including myself for some of them) who have been healed by God's grace and mercy.

novice said...

There is a brief mention of God in the "resentment" section, I had assumed that meant it was written from a Christian perspective.

I just double-checked that and found the source is indeed from a pastor / author / speaker, and the original blog post has no more to it to offer hope of redemption.

Taken at face value it's theologically unsound but perhaps, to borrow a quote from GK Chesterton, the author cares so much about these issues that "he says more than he means - from sheer force of meaning it".

So if you strip away the hyperbole it's pretty good stuff... but he's about 1700 years too late to claim originality :)

Misty B said...

You know I read the article a couple of times and didn't even see the word God until you pointed it out.

Where I tend to go when I look at these things I look at it from the perspective of someone who has been caught up in these 'mistakes'. To tell someone that they can't recover... then why bother trying.