12:00 p.m. to 1:00 p.m.

The following happens between 12:00 p.m. and 1:00 p.m.

I am boarding my plane and I am walking down the isle…I look at my ticket stub….NO, NO WAY…I am in a middle seat! I am 250 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal and the middle seat is not made for me…NOOOOO!

So I find my seat and to my left is a little woman with a runny nose. "B-E-A, awesome." But I look to my right and the seat is empty….I thought that maybe I was the last person to board the plane….”Oh GOD please close the plane door so that I can have the window seat.” So this is one of those times when you think that everyone is one the plane but you know that is not true. And you wait and wait and wait. Then a person walks on the plane….is it them? Nope, a sigh of relief as they walk by my row. What about her? Nope, another sigh. What about him? Nope, another sigh and a prayer that GOD will close the plane door…

I am so selfish!

Sure enough…I can always pick out the person who is going to sit by me…I just knew it. I could tell by the way he was looking for his row and seat number. Sure enough…”this is my seat.” We get out and he gets in…and it is not that bad because he is a very short man….more room for me. Now I wait for take off.

The door is closed, the crew walks through the cabin, closes the overhead containers and Miss Runny Nose looks at me and says “The seat behind me is free.” Whoa….why don’t you just slap my face? It was her kind way of saying get out and move behind her. I wonder if she was just calling me fat or a chair hog! So I got up and moved behind miss runny nose and I now have an aisle seat! YESSSSS!

We take off and I dose off. Our flight is to be 2 hours and 4 minutes long then the TV’s drop out of the ceiling, I have my headset with me…I plug in and I begin to watch The Office. Oh this is funny…I am laughing out loud….Michael is taking the office to the beach for a party but he is really planning that he is going to be promoted and wants to replace himself…very funny….