It is time to bring you all up to speed in the manner of 24. For the next few days, I am off to Irvine California to attend a leadership conference called Catalyst West. Now, I have to admit that this is going to be a hard time without my wife. As a matter of fact, I feel so bad leaving her that I cleaned, vacuumed and washed the house yesterday and made her a BBQed chicken dinner with baked potatoes, chick pea salad and broccoliflower. It was my guilt offering!
So here we go…
The following took place from 5:00 am – 6:00 am
I woke up! Had a quick shower, woke one of my sons up to get ready to drive me to the airport. Went to all the others in the family and said my goodbyes…even in their half woken state! Then off to the airport.
6:00 am – 7:00 am
Checked in, found my seat, checked out!
8:00 am – 9:00 am (Calgary time)
Woke up and proceeded to catch my connecting flight. So, as I approached customs and submitted my passport, the proverbial question came my way; “What do you do?” to which I responded “I am a minister.” I got a puzzling look from the officer, to which I added “I am a Pastor!” Again, there was hesitation on his part. Then after a few seconds he asked “When are you going home?” To which I responded, “I am back on Saturday!” Then he nods, “Just in time to preach!” “Yes,” I said.
That crazy little exchange got me thinking as I walked to security. This is not the first time I had this kind of interaction at the border. I think from now on I am going to say that I am a priest! Seriously, a priest. We will see how that goes coming back home.
Now, I proceed through airport security. After submitting my laptop and my shoes for testing I was asked to go through the new body scanners. “NOOOOOOOO!” (OK, I didn’t say it like that) I declined and I asked for a pat down. J After waiting for quite a few minutes, a young man came to do his job. Before he started, I told him that when we are done, he had to buy me lunch or at the very least a coffee. He quickly replied "After this YOU will have to buy Me lunch." I thought my comment drew laughs, but then entire place roared after his reply. Needless to say, this person was also considerably SHORTER than myself. I commented that I could use the massage, and he just blushed.
During this public intimate time, I confessed to him that “I don't trust the scanner, I think that they have come out too soon.” His reply floored me. He said “I don’t trust them either.” WOW, I can’t believe that he said that to me. Never mind that his supervisor was within earshot. Anyway, after my free massage, and I mean massage ( I feel somewhat violated) I found a local Starbucks and had some comfort food.
9:00 am – 10:00 am
I find a free WiFi and set up an account so I can get on Facebook, respond to emails and, of course, blog. I read, I write and I laugh.
10:00 am – 11:00 am
OK, the guy sitting next to me has the WORST BREATH! Seriously! I am two chairs away, and I choke every time he exhales and turns and looks my way. TOO funny, his name is Jerry! A friend of his just called out to him…he is on a different plane. I hope that they pass out TIC TACS! We are being called to board…must go…see you in LA!